Finding your life verse
Do you have a life verse? If you are unfamiliar with what this is, it's a verse from scripture that speaks to your heart, almost as though it was written for just you. It's very personal, and usually there is a story behind why we are drawn to that particular Bible verse.
This concept of a "life verse" was pretty foreign to me until about ten years ago, when I started hearing many Christian speakers talk more and more about their own "life verse" and tying it into their personal testimonies. I liked the idea, and sought out my very own life verse.
Like trying on dresses, I looked in some of my favorite books of the Bible, starting with Romans. Good stuff, but nothing seemed to fit. I went on to Psalms. David was so lyrical when writing this book; surely I could find something beautiful that fit my own life. Nope. I liked a lot of verses, but as soon as I closed the Bible, I couldn't remember the verse. Like Cinderella's step sister who wanted that pretty glass slipper to fit over her rather large and not-so-pretty foot... these verses were lovely, but didn't fit me.
Over the next several years, I put the life verse search out of my mind since I was truly busy with my own life, children and marriage. Honestly I began to think that maybe I didn't need one. If asked, I was just planning on saying something really pseudo-intelligent, like "How can ONE verse define my life when the whole Bible is so full of truth and relevance?" Truth is, even in this, God's timing was different than mine.
Let's fast forward ahead to October 2006. Our marriage had gone through quite a rough patch, and just as we were getting our lives back on track, my husband was diagnosed with a life threatening auto-immune disease that had caused him to go into renal failure. While my husband fought to get into remission for several months, it was in the spring of 2008 that we received the diagnosis that my youngest son had autism.
It was a crazy time for my family. I felt so unprepared to deal with everything that I had been given. There were days I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Through it all, I never felt God had abandoned us, but I was so scared. I remember trying to devour books on all the medical conditions and treatment options that my loved ones were going through. If I inundated myself with facts, it would take my mind off of the "what if's". It worked... for a little while. Then the knowledge itself overtook my fear of the unknown! What is that saying? -- Too much knowledge can be a bad thing? Yes, it can be!
We were left fighting a disease that would not respond to traditional therapies. My husband, now on dialysis, was in need of a kidney transplant. But we couldn't even begin that process until he reached a state of remission. The transplant process, once started meant more months (or years) of waiting and watching! Would we find a donor or would he be placed on the almost ten-year waiting list? Would his disease flare within that time period and knock him off the list?
At this point he was so ill, that all he could do was work a little then come home and sleep. Because of my background in medicine, many of the medical decisions were left up to me. It was a frightening place to be. I felt so inadequate, but at the same time, knew that we had no other advocate. So I pressed on, and continued to pray.
My prayer became one of desperation, "Please God, tell me what to do... Give me a direction."
It was during one of my husband's chemotherapy infusions that I was reading my Bible. I came across Proverbs 3: 5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths."
Upon reading this passage, the weight seemed to lift off of my shoulders! The tears that streamed down my face were the validation that I had finally found my life verse. It was a verse that would never have meant as much to me in the years before I had lived through this season of life. But at that moment, I felt as though that verse had been written just for me. It defined me, inspired me, and to this day, still strengthens me.
Almost a year after being diagnosed, and several therapies, my husband did finally reach remission. After going through a year and a half of dialysis and being placed on the UNOS waiting list, he was blessed to receive a healthy kidney, donated by his cousin, in November of 2008. He is still in remission! He and his new kidney are doing great!
Have you found your life verse? Please share it with us, and if you are willing to tell us, we'd love to hear your story!